Temptations
by Fleppy85
Summary: Plays around 13x10 "Risky business class". Don't focus too much on the case as I've no idea what exactly it is, more on the characters. Sara is surprise about Doug being in Vegas. She couldn't reach Grissom for a while and sees him suddenly in Vegas, but is not happy about his company
1. Chapter 1

**1.**

"Hi, this is Grissom. Please leave a message." Not again. Sara closed her cell phone annoyed. The third time in a row she went straight to voice mail. Where the hell was her husband? Why he not answer his phone? Or called her back. What was wrong with him? Within the last months her calls went more and more often to voicemail and his calls weren't as frequent as they used to be. And when he called, he had barely any time to talk.

Another try and again she reached voicemail. "It's me, your wife, Sara, if you remember…I wonder where you are…why you don't answer your phone. Call me…soon. Please." She put her cell phone away. This wasn't the marriage she expected to have. Yes, they agreed on a long distance relationship, they were aware it was no bed of roses, but it worked. At least the first year or two. What changed that it didn't work anymore? Somehow she had the feeling, he was hiding something from her and most times, when your partner hid something from you, it wasn't good, was it?

Pushing away her thoughts about her relationship - if you could call it this - she went into the break room to join her team and wait for the assignments for the night. Work was the best way to get her mind off Grissom and their relationship. Nick and Greg talked about college football, Finn and Morgan read a magazine and DB wasn't around. An ordinary evening in the CSI lab.

"Hi guys." She sat down and looked at the newspaper on the table. She read them all, why did nobody get new ones? A doctors office offered better magazines than the CSI lab. Grabbing the TV remote, she switched on the news channel.

"…a plane just crashed down a mile off the Las Vegas Strip. So far there are no reports about survivor and fatalities, as there are no information about the plane. From where I stand it looks like a Cessna crashed into two houses. Firefighters, EMS and police are around, we keep you informed as soon as we get any information…" By now everybody looked at the TV screen and followed the news.

"Shit, that doesn't look good." Nick said.

"Looks like an ugly scene. How many people fit into a Cessna?" Morgan asked.

"Depends on which kind of Cessna it is. From the pictures we saw, I can't guess." Greg answered.

"We'll have plenty of time to have a closer look at it, we go over there." DB said. Nobody noticed him coming into the room. "LVPD requested us, it's our case of the night. Grab your kits and prepare yourself for the scene."

A scene a mile off The Strip. To Sara, it didn't look good at all for the people in the aircraft and also not for whoever was at home. Tuesday night, when accident happened it had to be around nine to nine thirty pm., most people should be at home, watching TV, in bed, preparing for school, talking to the spouse - if the spouse was available. Some seemed to be out of touch. Hopefully the people, who lived in these houses, were lucky people and worked the late shift in some casinos or somewhere else. Probably their only chance to survive.

When they arrived at the scene they had to wait a while for the firefighters to finish their work and EMS to get all injured people away. A dozen casualties in hospital or dead, impossible to tell who was in the plane and who was in the house most times. The fire made it difficult and EMS had other priorities than checking out, who was where when the accident happened.

"Two houses burnt down, two dozen others are damaged more or less, we have three cars burnt, fortunately it looks like nobody was in there, various eye witnesses, who told me, the plane came down and crashed into the houses. It was supposed to touch down on LAS, came from San Francisco. At the moment we've no idea about who was in there, it was a private plane. The pilot didn't call for help, didn't call the tower and honestly I doubt, he mistook The Strip for LAS." Brass said.

"If he mistook The Strip for LAS, he came from another direction, had crashed down north or south of it, not west." Sara answered, her eyes on the scene.

"Exactly. Well, it's your job to get answers from what is left of the plane and the buildings, I talk to more witnesses and victims. So far four are dead, two of them were kids. If they belong to the plane or house, I don't know."

"We work on that." DB looked around. "We start here, the firefighter are done, as soon as they leave the field for us, I want you to work on the plane. The answers should be there. The plane crashed into the houses, not the other way around, so it's likely, whoever or whatever was on the plane, caused this."

Unless somebody made the plane crash down, Sara thought. Somebody with a weapon big enough to get the Cessna into trouble, make the pilot lose control and crash down. A laser pointer? A riffle? Did the plane ran out of kerosene? Or the pilot lose conscious? A lot of questions and the after the firefighter extinguished the fire, a lot of evidence was gone or contained. Not an easy case to work.


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

A long night, a long morning and more evidence than they could transport in one car to the lab. It was almost four in the afternoon when Sara came back to the lab, knowing not all of their evidence was here. It was enough work for another couple of hours at the scene, but she couldn't work any longer. After eighteen hours at work, she needed a few hours of sleep. Years ago Grissom said, she was a person, who could stay awake and work for three days, if that ever was true, those days were long gone. Nowadays Sara Sidle needed her sleep. At least a few hours.

"Two shifts work on this case and I doubt we'll get through the evidence any time soon." Greg said. He looked as tired as she felt.

"We can start, but it will take ages until we get through everything We could use some help."

"Definitely. As far as I know DB tries to organize something. You should go home, you look tired."

"Ditto."

"I've got a few more bags in my car I've to get in here. After the experience with Nick's car, I don't want evidence in my car for a minute longer, than it has to be in there."

"Right." Sara remembered the case of the dead mother-in-law, a real dragon and how she, Greg and Nick had breakfast in their favorite diner and out of the blue Nick's car was gone and with it the whole evidence. The Sheriff wasn't impressed, not even when they managed to close the case anyway.

"The best man hit on you…you flirted."

"He flirted, I tried to get a statement." She corrected like she had done back then. At this time she and Grissom had been involved, but their colleagues had no idea about it.

"What did Grissom say about it? You were a couple and you flirted with a stranger. Not to mention, the scene was a huge wedding."

"My husband knows me."

"Back then you weren't married."

"Doesn't change anything about being trustful, does it? When you're in a relationship, you don't cheat on your spouse, don't flirt with other people, right?" Was she looking out for some reassurance from her best friend? Did she need it? After her husband wasn't here, was not available on the phone, she needed somebody who told her, even when you weren't together, the other one was still there, still loved you. You don't stop loving each other just because you haven't seen each for...a few…weeks. Really weeks? What happened to, they were supposed to see each other once a month?

"You tell me, you're the happily married one. I'm the lonely single."

"In my perfect fantasy people don't cheat."

"And in reality?"

"They do." She sighed. They both came across a lot of people, who cheated on their partner during the years. Some killed their spouse, some killed the one they cheated with, some were killed by the partner. It was seldom they met a happy family.

"Only the idiots cheat and only a big idiot cheats on you." Greg got his arm around Sara. "This Hank guy, he was a really big idiot."

Yes Hank. He cheated on her. Or cheated with her on his girlfriend. However you wanted to see it, he lied to her and hurt her.

"You told me in the hallway, a real man doesn't mind when I smell like death. He did. I should have listen to you, even all you wanted was me for yourself."

"Maybe it was my intention, but one thing is for sure, I had never cheated on you. You would have broken my heart when you left me for Grissom, but I'm sure, none of us had been not faithful."

"No." She placed a quick kiss on his cheek, something she usually never did at work. "Go and get your evidence so you can go home. We both need some sleep."

"I'd offer you my arms for a good day sleep, but I'm afraid your husband would misunderstood this."

"Probably." Not that he'd ever know because he was somewhere, didn't answer his phone and didn't call her. "What will you come back?"

He checked his watch. "Between midnight and one."

"Care to meet for a coffee before? Say midnight and come here together?"

"We're having a date. Don't tell your hubby." He blinked at her.

"I won't." She couldn't. Grissom wasn't available for her. Was he available for anybody? And for how long was she supposed to put up with this? The very least thing he could do was call and explain to her, why he was never available and never called back. Or did she ask for too much?

* * *

A little bit after midnight Sara and Greg met at the diner. With a big mug of coffee in front of them, they sat down on their favorite table.

"So, how is Grissom? I haven't seen him for a while."

"Welcome to the club." These words slipped out of Sara's mouth, she didn't plan to say them out loud.

"I thought you meet once a month."

"That's the plan."

"How is reality?"

"Reality…is always different than the plan."

"Where is he?"

"Somewhere in Bolivia; I think."

"You think? He doesn't tell you?"

"To be honest, I haven't talked to him in three weeks. Whenever I call his cell phone, I go to voicemail, ask him to call me and he doesn't call back. I tried SMS, didn't get an answer neither. You're a man Greg, what does it take to get an answer? Not a novel, only a short text or a quick call about how he is, where he is and when he comes back."

"You forgot the most important part. Tell you he loves you." Greg took her hand. "I've no idea how Grissom thinks about these things, I believe, you should talk to your wife or girlfriend every day. For me it's impossible to be in love and not in contact. I can't imagine being apart from the one I love, live in another country. It would drive me crazy."

"Why is there no woman in your life?"

"There is a woman in my life, since thirteen years. The problem is, she married my boss."

Sara laughed a little bit. "You know what I mean. What about you and Morgan?"

"She has dates with Hodges, his mother and her father. Apparently they're all dating."

"Morgan and Hodges? I can't see them together."

"I don't want to see them together." He stopped, aware of what he just said. "I mean…"

"It's okay." She put her hand on his. "She's cute and you and her would make a nice couple. Maybe it works out. Did you ask her out?"

"We had a few beer together."

"And?"

"And…since she and Hodges have these double dates we don't really meet anymore."

"A real man doesn't mind when his woman stinks smells like death, he also fights for the woman he wants."

"It's hard to be a real man."

"No man in Vegas is more a man than you are, Greggo."

"A real man also lets his buddy know when his wife is unhappy. I'll get in touch with your hubby and kick his ass for not calling you. Somehow I'll reach him."

"Good luck with that." Great, she was at a point, where she didn't mind Greg interfering with her marriage. Maybe he had more luck, maybe Grissom called after he heard, there were more people wondering what happened. And maybe he became a little bit jealous, when Greg told him, he spent a lot of time with Sara. Husbands don't want their wives seeing other men, right? So when a man called you and told you, your wife was unhappy, he had to comfort her, wouldn't you come back home ASAP and make sure, your wife was still your wife? Did she have to make Grissom jealous? Maybe it was a way to get his attention, but she couldn't use Greg for this. He was her best friend, using him like this made her feel bad. If was wanted to do this, she had to find somebody else. Somebody, who would really make Grissom jealous.


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

By now all the evidence should be in the lab, at least the most important things. Sara was ready to drive back to the scene in case they needed more, but just like she thought, DB ordered them to stay in the lab. At night it was unlikely they found important evidence, as soon as there was enough daylight, two of them were supposed to get back to the scene.

She went through a lot of pieces, that belonged to the aircraft. Most of these things were in three rooms, from seats to suitcases over small pieces, she had no idea what all of them were. Some went into a box for unknown evidence. Over twenty-four hours later they knew fourteen people were killed. Ten of them were in the plane, four in the house. Six people were missing, ten more injured in hospital, five of them in a critical condition.

"I've got another bag with evidence, where would you like to have it?"

Sara stopped what she was doing. Her hair on her neck stand up. She knew this voice. It had to be a dream, caused by all the hours she worked yesterday and today, the lack of sleep and …it couldn't be real. This voice didn't belong to Vegas, it belonged to San Francisco, in her past, not in the present. To get the affirmation she was wrong and all was only a dream she turned and stopped breathing when realized, she wasn't wrong.

"Doug."

"Sara."

Her dream was real. Doug was in the room. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes. Just the way she remembered him. And he looked at surprise as she was.

"What are you doing here?"

"I work here. The plane case."

"You do?" Not a smart question. If he weren't he didn't have a pass with his name on his shirt. Shirt, that showed, he was in really good shape. Gosh, it had been such a long time. Thirteen years. No, fourteen years. When she was in San Francisco, they worked together and…had more than a work relationship. For a while, a really nice while. Doug was here. Wham.

"NTSB works the case too, the plane came from San Francisco, naturally I'm very interested in it. Plus our help was requested. It's a lot of evidence to work on, a lot of questions to answer." He smiled at her.

NTSB, he changed jobs, the last time they…saw each other, he worked for the San Francisco coroner. The place they met, when Sara was a CSI there. "Of course."

"You look very good."

"I slept only six hours and worked eighteen, I can't look good."

"I saw you after a thirty-eight hours shift and no sleep, you always look good. It comes naturally to you."

He flirted with her, like he always did. So charming. Back then he was able to make her feel like she was the only woman in the world he had eyes for. The only woman, he was ever interested in. She wondered if…there was no ring on his hand. Which had nothing to say, she didn't wear her ring all the time. In her job it wasn't possible.

Sara cleared her throat. "So, you're here to bring me more evidence."

"Yes, I keep you busy."

"You always did." She mumbled. Not only when it came to work. And louder. "Thanks, I try to get to it ASAP. Got any news from the scene?"

"Still working on every angle. What about you? Found something?"

"No, I'm organizing the evidence, get an overlook about what is what and belongs to where. DB works on the black box, he should get the first and best results."

"DB?" His voice was slightly amused.

"Yeah I know, strange name for a CSI. I mean my boss, Russell."

"Your husband?"

How did he know she was married? She never told him…oh, the ring. She wore her ring today. Of course he saw it. But why did she think her boss was her husband? "No, my husband left the lab four years ago. Why do you think Russell is my husband?"

"You left San Francisco for the boss of the CSI lab in Vegas. The way you talked about him, it was obvious, he was special to you and when somebody is special to Sara Sidle, it has nothing to do with work."

He remembered? He noticed? When she left they weren't a couple anymore, she talked only briefly with him about her reason, never said it was Grissom, did she? The thing was, Doug always had a certain way to read her mind, understand what she said without her saying it. It was scary back then, it was scary now.

"Grissom is special to everybody, the whole lab thought and thinks he's special."

"Where is he? What's he doing now?"

Good question, she'd like to have an exact answer to it herself. "South America."

"South America? Why is he there and you here?"

"Because I have to work on the evidence you brought me, which I intend to do now, otherwise we never get any answers."

"I just got my answer." He smiled. "I see you around, Sara."

"You will." She looked down on her evidence. This man was able to read her, to understand what she said and - more important - what she didn't say. Less than five minutes with her in a room and he knew more about her and her private life than she wanted him to know, while she had no clue about his life.

Doug Wilson in Las Vegas. She thought, she'd never see him again. He was the only man she had been really interested in San Francisco. The only man, who put up with her working too much, taking cases home, giving up on private time and vacation in order to solve another case, go to another conference or advanced training. No matter how hard she tried to blew it - without trying it, but doing it as she did, what she felt like - he never lost his patience. Other men got angry when you came home ten hours late, didn't cook dinner, didn't stock the fridge, he never said a word, only pulled her into his arms, ordered food and made her relax. He understood work was important to her. In a way, he was like Grissom was. Grissom and Doug were the only men in Sara's life, who accepted her work, who supported her without complaining. Now Doug was in Vegas and when Sara looked at all the evidence, they had to work on, he'd stay for a while. Something that made her feel a little bit nervous, even when she tried to fight this feeling back.


	4. Chapter 4

**4.**

"You still forget to take a break when you're working a case."

Sara turned when she heard Doug's voice. He leant at the door frame, watched her working on the evidence.

"Somebody has to work or did you close the case already?"

"No, I didn't. Why don't we go and have a coffee? A sandwich."

"I've to work." I'm married, you're my ex, it's not right. Especially because you know me too well.

"Russell will agree on the fact you need to eat. And take a break. You start missing important details when you're tired, don't take breaks. Sara Sidle doesn't miss details, we don't want her to start with it now, do we?"

She knew this teasing tone in his voice. He used it years ago to make her do things, she didn't want to do, but did after he talked to her like this.

"Did your boss send you here for coffee and sandwiches? Or did he tell you to get the work done ASAP? If NTSB pays their people for coffee breaks, I might consider applying for a job there."

"Oh come on Sara, we both know, you're trying to find an excuse to stay here because you know, I get you to join me if I want. I always did. Why don't you safe us both some time and just come with me? Gets us both faster back to work and we'll be rested and refreshed."

"You're so arrogant." She grumbled and turned back to her evidence. He really believed all he had to do was mention their old time and she'd listen like a little dog? Apparently he didn't know her as good as she thought. Or he thought.

"While you're stubborn. Come on, lets take a break. Please. Pretty please? I pay."

"Don't you have colleagues with you, you can have a coffee with?"

"I do, but I can have coffee with them every day. A few days and I'll be back in San Francisco, why not use the time to catch up a little bit? Talk about what happened to us the last thirteen years."

Sounded interesting, as much as she hated to admit this. She wanted to know how his last thirteen years were, what had happened in his life, why he decided to go to NTSB. It wasn't like she didn't wonder a couple of times how he was, what he was doing. And it took a long time before she deleted his cell phone number.

"Can we meet after work? I'd rather continue to work and only stop at one point to have a coffee, a sandwich without a conversation."

"Some fuel to keep you going, I understand."

The problem was, he did. He understood. It wasn't a phrase. He understood what she did and why. And no matter what she did, he never got angry.

"How long do you want to work? Got a time frame?"

"Four pm." A double. If she could manage to concentrate this long.

"Sixteen hours. Why don't we settle on one pm? I know you can work longer, you're amazing, never needed a lot of breaks when you had a case, that got your interest. But you're a human being like anybody else, you need some rest too."

"If I can't work as good as I should, we can have lunch at one."

"Good. I let you continue your work and go back to mine." He sent a smile and left the room.

Sara followed him with her eyes until he was gone. Did she make it too easy for him? A few words and she agreed on lunch, going home early…he didn't expect her to take him home, did he? No, he knew she was married. And that her husband wasn't around. What would Grissom say when he knew her ex was here? Well, if he got his ass here he would know.

* * *

"The black box gave us no clue about why the plane crashed into the two houses." DB said in a team meeting. Or like he liked to call it: family meeting.

"Telling us, the plane wasn't the problem, not the technique. The reason must be something else. Did they ran out of fuel?" Greg asked.

"No, I checked that, there was enough fuel on board. If it wasn't the fault of the pilot, something out of the plane must have caused the accident. What did the witnesses say?"

"The plane came closer and closer and hit the houses. No turbulences, it looked like it went straight toward the house, like the house was its final destination." Brass said.

"In a way it was the its final destination." Brass said.

"Yes, sadly that's true. NTSB are working with us, they checked on the passengers on the plane. None of them was known as a terrorist, all ordinary decent people, at least from what they saw. They're digging into their files."

"In fact, we found something." Doug appeared out of the blue. All eyes were on him while his were on Sara.

"What is it?"

"One of the passengers, who was booked on the flight, is Adam Joseph."

"That Adam Joseph?" Sara asked surprised.

"Yes."

"Why do you know him?" Greg asked.

"Because he's from San Francisco. When I lived there, he was a small time bandit, so to speak. When I left, he was working his way up, we tried to get him a few times, the problem was, he was as slippery as a fish. You try to grab him, you lose him. Did you get him when I left?"

"No, we tried, he had a good lawyer and an alibi for everything. Joseph turned from small time bandit to big time boss. He runs a ring of drugs and prostitutes and word on the street is, he wants to expand; to Vegas."

"Great, we don't have enough of these guys here." DB sighed. "So Joseph is dead?"

"No, he isn't. He was supposed to be on the plane, but he changed his plans the last second. He's in San Francisco. alive and well. I talked to SFPD."

"You think somebody wanted him to die?" Nick asked.

"I'm sure your drug and prostitute bosses aren't too happy about his plans."

"The other people on the plane, belonged to Joseph?" Sara asked. "Worked for him in one way or another?"

"Yes, his people, he sent over to prepare his arrival. He'll come over Vegas, but didn't want to tell anybody when. Looks he's a little bit scared, didn't expect somebody being this mad with him. If this theory works out."

"We'll find it out." Russell said. "The thing is, when somebody from the ground shot at the plane, it had to be quite a big weapon and why did the plane went straight into the houses? The pilot should try to avoid them, fight over the control, he didn't do this according to our witnesses. Go back to work and find me answers, folks. Focus on the news from San Francisco. Nick, I want you to go with Officer Mitchell, there a few more witnesses, who called in last night. Talk to them, see what they tell you. The rest, back to the evidence. It tells us the truth."

The evidence never lies, it was that Grissom always used to say, Sara thought. She had to call him, maybe she could get him at this time of the early morning.


	5. Chapter 5

**5.**

It was quarter past one when Sara went into the dinner, she wanted to meet Doug. Or Doug wanted to meet her, it was his idea they had lunch together, she only decided where. And to make it obvious, she wasn't in a hurry and wasn't desperate to meet him, she let him wait for a few minutes.

"I knew you'd come."

Not the reaction she hoped for and not the words she wanted to hear. How did he knew she'd come? What made him so sure about himself?

"Stop being so arrogant, Doug."

"I'm not arrogant, I know you. Did you reach your husband?"

"Did you find out more about the case?" It wasn't his business if she reached Grissom or not. And no, she didn't Her call went straight to voicemail again. And yes, she was mad and disappointed her husband didn't answer his phone. One more day and she'd call his employer and ask, if everything was all right. Something could be wrong, he could be injured and nobody called her.

"You still don't like talking about your private life."

"It's none of your business."

"It used to be my business. Your husband wasn't here for a while, so I've heard, very strange. How can he stay away? He's married to a wonderful woman, what can be more interested or important than being here with you?"

"He has work to do."

"We all have work to do, but when you're married, you make time for your wife."

"Are you married too? Or how do you know?" She turned tables. Why talk about her private life when they could talk about his? He didn't want to talk about their case, good, they could talk about what happened to him in the last thirteen years.

"Divorced, I know mistakes, I know where they end."

"So you learnt from your mistakes."

"Actually I learnt from her mistakes."

"Why is it all the time the woman, who makes the mistakes?"

"Not all the time, only in my case. In your case it's your husband."

"So what did she do? Which mistakes?"

"Like your husband, she was more away than home. FBI agent, traveled around the country, came barely back to San Francisco. This can work out for a month, maybe two, but sooner or later the one left behind gets nervous, angry because there are no calls, no messages. And when you find out, there are no calls and messages because your partner is busy not only with work, but with a colleague, the marriage is over and the experiment long distance relationship failed." He said in a light tone, but Sara could see some sorrow in his eyes. He wasn't the only one, who knew the other well enough.

"I'm sorry for that."

"There must be a reason for it, she wasn't the right one, I guess."

Was Grissom the right one for her? Until today she never doubted this, he was the only man she ever truly loved and she was the only woman, he ever really loved. They were meant for each other, at least that was what they both thought. Think? Why were there a few doubts? Where did they come from?

"Does somebody waits for you in San Francisco?" Why did she ask this? It wasn't important to her if there was somebody or not.

"No."

"You're on the roads a lot, aren't you? Must be hard to be involved then."

"At the moment, yes. I could change it, but as long as I've no reason for it, I continue to travel the country. It's interesting, you see new places and sometimes you meet people, you haven't seen for a while." His old self-assured smile was back. "Your team was quite surprised we share a past. How much do they know?"

"We worked in San Francisco together, that's it and it's all they need to know."

"You like to keep your private life private, like nobody knew about us."

"It wasn't their business."

"So they don't have to know about us - not back in San Francisco and not here, having lunch together. Will you tell your husband?"

"Stop worrying about my marriage, Grissom and me are fine." Hopefully she sounded as sure about it as she wanted.

"Okay, okay." He smiled and she knew, she sounded not very convincing. Maybe it was a mistake to meet Doug here for lunch.

* * *

Back home she checked her cell phone and found a message from Grissom. Her husband finally answered all her messages, even when he didn't call, only sent a text message, but it was better than nothing, was it? _Hello Dear, sorry to keep you hanging this long, I'm very busy but I promise I'll be back home soon & surprise you. Love Gil_. He will be back home soon? These six words made her feel like it was Christmas and her birthday on the same day. Grissom was about to come home. Probably he had no time to get in touch with her because he worked so hard to get a few days off and be with her. It was worth waiting for these words. Grissom planned to come back home.

He also planned a surprise. What kind of surprise? Whatever it was, it had to be nice. Her husband was about to come home. She took her cell phone and dialed his number. Maybe she got lucky again and reached him, could talk to him. No, voicemail again.

"Hi, it's me, I read your message. You're coming home? Believe me, this is the best message in a while. When will you be here? I miss you. Call me and tell me when I can pick you up at the airport. Love you."

Grissom was about to come home. After all this time, he'd be soon with her. He said soon. The question was, how soon was soon? Hopefully very soon, she missed him and the last couple of days, she had thought a couple of times about taking a week off and fly down to South America and see him. No need anymore, he was on his way to her. More or less.

Another question that came up to her was, if she hadn't have her cell phone on mute, she could have heard the message coming in and call Grissom immediately. Maybe they could have talked for a few minutes, she wanted to hear his voice again - and she wasn't talking about the recording of his voice on voicemail.


	6. Chapter 6

**6.**

"Wow, I can see a wonderful smile on your face, there have to be good news. Did you close the case?" Doug asked Sara, when he came into the room, she worked on evidence.

"No, I didn't close the case, do you have news from San Francisco?"

"Joseph is still in San Francisco, I wonder when he comes over. We checked on all passengers, playing with the idea, one of them might have caused the crash."

"And?"

"No evidence about it. I talked to the guy from Texas, the bodies were found all over the place, it not possible to tell, who was where."

"At the moment."

"What does that mean? Do you have an idea how to place people in the plane?"

"I can try, with the seats, look for traces. The problem is, due to the fire and the water of the firefighters, most of the evidence is gone, but we might get lucky."

"Getting lucky is always good." He smirked.

"You're in Vegas, I'm sure you'll find a way to get lucky, Doug."

"Working on that."

"Shouldn't you been working on the case?"

"I'm a talented man, I can do more than one thing. You know about my talents."

"Forgot all about them, prove them again, show me how you can close cases fast."

"Why fast? Want me gone soon?"

"Yes." Actually she didn't, but he didn't deserve the truth. Not now, not after he acted like this.

"Liar, liar pants on fire. I can tell when you lie like I can tell you're happy today. Means, your husband called. Is he on his way back to Vegas?"

"Doug, this is our work place, not a café. Go back to your work and let me work on my evidence."

"He is on his way, good for you. I hope it doesn't mean we won't have dinner together anymore."

"Doug, work." Sara rolled her eyes.

"Right, close the case so there's more time for Mister Grissom."

"Doctor Grissom."

"Of course, Doctor Grissom. You were always attracted by knowledge. It's why you fell for me." He smirked and left the room before she had the chance to say another word or comment on his statement. Not that she had to say anything to it, he was right, she was attracted to him because he was smart. And sexy. He had the looks and the brain, which was a very dangerous combination.

Dinner with Doug. Did she want dinner with her ex? Her first intention was to decline it, the more she thought about it, lunch had been nice, he was funny and she enjoyed talking with him about their past. He had always have the ability to make her happy, enthusiastic and get her mind off work. Dinner with him, after they closed the case would be nice. He could meet Grissom and understand, why she married him, despite the long distance relationship they had.

* * *

"Are we going to a geek café or why do we ignore all the beautiful cafés around us?" Doug asked. He talked Sara into meeting him for a coffee before work and so it came they met at six in the evening.

"Very geek. Or the only one with a more than decent latte macchiato."

"They have decent latte macchiato in Vegas? Seriously?"

"Yes."

"I don't complain, just get us to this place. Do they also have decent black coffee?"

"What do you think?" She shot back dryly.

"I think, you still love very good black coffee, still drink it before you go to work and wherever we'll go, there'll be very good black coffee."

"There's your answer." While she was still wondering why she did all these things. Why did she go out with him? They worked for a while together on some evidence, made some good progress and now here she was, next to him, walking through Las Vegas. Why did she agree? She should be home, wait for Grissom, he could call any time, tell her when he was back, needed her to pick him up from the airport. Instead she spend time with her ex. Not was a good wife should do, right?

"What are you doing on your days off?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your days off, when you don't work. What are you doing then?" Doug asked.

"Catch up on sleep, relax, drive to Lake Mead. Why?"

"How about coming over to San Francisco when you have two days off? There are a few people, who miss you and it would be nice to catch up with the old team. We had a great time and deserve a reunion, don't you think? At least one for one evening."

"Pretend for one night everything is like it was thirteen or fourteen years ago?"

"For example. One more time twenty-five. The good old days."

Twenty-five, the time when they were more than colleagues. Was he talking about this or about the work? She wasn't quite sure right now. The smile he sent her was…she could read a lot of things in it. And she had the feeling he didn't mind going back in time in all details. He flirted with her, made it obvious, he was interested in her. The question was, did she do anything to support this? Or did she enjoy the attention too much? Because, when she was honest with herself, she did enjoy it.

"The good old days are over."

"They are, but we can get them back for a day, what do you think?"

"I think…" Sara stopped. While they walked through the street, she let her eyes ran over people sitting in cafés and bistros, watching them. But what she saw now had to be mistake of her eyes. It couldn't be real.

"You think what, Sara?"

"Can you see the man over there? With the dark haired woman?"

"Yeah, sure. Looks like they're deep in a conversation, lost in their own world. Why? Do you know them? One of them?"

"I do."

"Shall we go over and say hello?"

"No. You said it yourself, they're lost in their own world." Her eyes stayed there until she shook her head to get her attention away. "Come on, we're almost there."

"Are you all right? You're pale?"

"I need caffeine and some sugar, skipped breakfast. Or lunch."

Doug wanted to say, he could see she lied, but swallowed the words and followed her. Sara's steps weren't as stable as before, to him, it looked like she was running away. Something had to be wrong with her and he was sure, it had to do with the man and the woman.


	7. Chapter 7

**7.**

"Want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Mhm?" Sara's attention got back to Doug.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong with you? You're somewhere else with your thoughts, since we are here, your mind is somewhere else. And these thoughts you have, aren't nice ones, I can see it in your face. What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Oh come on, you know you can't lie to me. It has something to so with these two people we saw. Who are they?"

"Not important."

"Sara." He took her hand. "It is important, it bothers you. To me they looked like a couple in a conversation, but there must be more. Otherwise you wouldn't react like this. Did they do anything to you?"

"No."

"But?"

"Nothing. Let it go."

"No, no I won't let it go. Tell me what they did to you and we work something out to make them pay."

"Thanks. But no thanks." She smiled. He wanted to support her, of course, he always supported her. She could always rely on him, he had never let her down. Why again did they split? He never cheated on her, never deceived her. Unlike Grissom. Yes it had been Grissom, her husband, whom she saw in the café with…yeah, with whom else than Lady Heather? Pardon, Doctor Kessler was it now.

"I don't believe it!" He looked with wide opened eyes at him, realizing it, like he read her thoughts. "He is your husband! That was Doctor Grissom. He told you he is in South America while in reality he is in Las Vegas and…drinks coffee with another woman. One, who is not half as beautiful as you are."

"Thanks." Her voice was bitter.

"I don't get it. You don't marry an idiots, at least I was sure about this until today. What's wrong with this man? He lied to you. Or lies, I bet he hasn't told you, he's here. How can he prefer to be with somebody else than with you? Especially after you haven't seen each other in a while. When you come home, the first stop should be at home, see your wife, tell her, you love her."

"Doug…please…just let go."

"Why? You can't let go of it neither. Come on, he is married to a beautiful and smart woman, what else can a man want? A woman, who waits for him, is faithful, believes in him. Only a fool risks this."

"How do you know I was faithful while he was away?"

"Oh come on, Sara, I know you. You don't cheat on your partner, you've been hurt by idiots, who did this to you, you know how painful it is and you don't want other people to suffer as much as you did." He squeezed her hand softly.

"You know too much about me."

"No, I don't. I know a few things about you, things, you told me and you like the fact, I know you. You don't have to explain yourself to me, never had."

"True."

"So, what are we doing? Go there and tell him, he's an asshole? And this woman, whoever it is, not as good as you are?"

"She's…she used to be a dominatrix, he met her during a case years ago and they…they were more than friends…or friends with benefits, however you want to call it."

"Before you were in Las Vegas?"

"No, while I was here. He knew about my feelings, I was sure he felt the same, but he didn't give into his feelings. It was too risky, could cost him his job, so he preferred to stay work colleagues for five years. During this time he and Heather…he never told me what exactly happened, but he spent more than one night at her place."

"Asshole and idiot."

"I guess, Heather has more style than I have."

"A dominatrix? Come on, you can't be serious."

"She's a doctor now. Doctor of psychology. A sex therapist. Maybe he has a session with her."

"I've no idea how sex therapy works, but shouldn't your partner be with you? At least when you're interested in solving the problem."

"At this moment, I've no idea about anything."

"We could go there and ask him. What did he tell you about where he is?"

"Busy, soon back home with a surprise."

"Yeah, it was a surprise, but not a nice one. I wonder since when he is here."

"Or when he plans to tell me he's here."

"We can go there and ask. I'm sure you know where she lives, don't you?"

She nodded first and then shook her head. "To be honest, I don't feel like hearing excuses and explanations right now. I saw enough and didn't like it, no need to add explanations, I might not like."

"Maybe he has a good explanation, one you want to hear. One, that explains everything, it might have something to do with the surprise he promised you. Maybe she helped him organizing it."

"Are you defending him?" Sara asked surprised. She thought he would take the chance and use what she told him.

"Well, I don't know him, what you told me sounds not good for him, but in dubio pro reo, right?"

"I'm not a judge, I'm a wife, whose husband lied to her. Why wasn't he home? If he wants to surprise me, he knows what times I work, he could have been home, surprise me there, tell me he is back. No, instead he meets Heather and…God only knows where he stays. Maybe he has been here for a day or two, spent the time with her."

"Which doesn't mean he did anything wrong."

"Sure, he stayed in an extra room and didn't call me because his surprise is so big, he needs more time to prepare. And Heather helps him because he knows how much I like her." Sara said cynical.

"Okay, you're right, there is no good explanation. What now? What's your plan?"

"Switch off my private cell phone, go to work and by tomorrow I should have decided what to do next. Maybe I surprise him myself, change the locks. The plan was I pick him up from the airport, no need to tell him about the new lock."

"Need some help…no, let me rephrase this: want me to join you? You don't need help to change a lock, you know how to do that, better than I do. We can do it together and after that I invite you to breakfast."

"Why? My mood won't be good."

"So? I'm the one who makes you smile, even when you're in a bad mood. And I can be your punching ball, I don't care. Swear at me, tell how horrible men are, I won't complain." He grinned and made Sara smile. He was right, he always made her smile. While Grissom made her sad; at least at the moment.


	8. Chapter 8

**8.**

"Did he call you?"

"No." Sara closed her locker and waited for Doug to step out of her way, so she could leave the locker room.

"He knows your work cell phone number, doesn't he?"

"Of course." He had called her various times on her work cell phone plus she had her private cell phone with her all the time. It wasn't like she didn't give him any chance to call her, he never took a chance to do it.

"Idiot."

Unfortunately she couldn't disagree because she felt the same. "Not a topic for here. Shall we have breakfast? Or brunch, it's almost noon."

"Don't you want to go home ASAP and have a look if he is…"

"No. I don't feel like seeing him. If he's not there, he could be with Heather too. Maybe we meet them at the place we have brunch…if you feel like having brunch with a moody bitch."

"This moody bitch is my favorite one, I can't of think of anybody I'd rather be with. You're allowed to be moody, swear and call me names because men are idiots. I can handle it."

"You know this time there won't be a kiss and make up part."

"Not? Oh, you leave out the fun part. How mean. Well, brunch is nice too. Come on." He put his arm around Sara's waist. "I buy."

"The times, when you could impress me with buying breakfast or brunch are over."

"I'll find something else. How about…I buy you ice cream?"

"Ice cream?" Sara looked in disbelieve at him. "Are you serious?"

"No, of course not! But I loved the look on your face." He laughed. Buying Sara ice cream, or offer her to buy ice cream, was not a serious offer. He wasn't talking to a kindergarten child, he knew better than this.

* * *

Sara had to admit it was fun spending time with Doug. He made her almost forget about Grissom and Heather. Her husband and the former dominatrix, now doctor. She couldn't believe she really saw him and her together. Couldn't believe he was in Vegas and didn't tell her about it. What was she supposed to think? The last couple of hours she tried really hard not to think about the worst case, tried to find excuses why Grissom and Heather had coffee together, why he didn't come home first. Did the other woman have something to do with the surprise? He should know she wasn't a big fan of Heather, too much had happened between him and her, too much worried her, like the fact, he stayed in touch with her.

"You think of him all the time, why don't you call him, ask him where he is?" Doug asked.

"Because…he wanted to call me."

"No, you don't call him because you're afraid he lies to you, tells you he's still abroad while you know better." He pointed out, a lot of understanding in his voice.

"Why her? If we had seen him alone, it would have been all right, but no, he has to be with her. Instead of coming home, telling me he's here, he meets her. What am I supposed to think? What would you have thought if you had seen your wife with her ex in San Francisco while you thought, she was somewhere else?"

"Been there, I saw my ex with her lover in San Jose. She told me, she was working in New York, two days later, I drove to San Jose to get some distractions, I saw her and him in a restaurant, holding hands and looking absolutely not like working a case. Later, after I went to her and asked her, what the hell was going on, she told me, they had an affair for a while. It was the end of the marriage." He took her hand. "I'm sorry I can't tell you a happier story."

"I'm sorry…this must remind you of her and what she did."

"A little bit, but I'm over her. She doesn't deserve me crying over her. It's hard to let go, but when you managed to, it feels better."

Sara thought about this. Should she let go of Grissom? No! No, way. They were married, she couldn't give up on him. He hurt her, he lied to her, but she had no proof he cheated on her. There was the possibility, he and Heather had nothing else than a coffee and he was home, waiting for her with his surprise. Maybe it was something, Heather helped him to organize. Something, that requested a person in Vegas. She couldn't think of anything, but this didn't mean, he didn't have an idea. It was easy to give up, harder to fight and continue, she had never chosen the easy way out. Why now? It wasn't her style.

"I think it's time for me to go home, see if Grissom is home."

"Maybe you get all the information you need, all the answers you want and I really hope, these answers will be good. You deserve to be happy, Sara."

"Thanks. Happiness wasn't a faithful companion of me."

"I know, it left you a couple of times, gave you some not very nice experiences. I hope you found true happiness in Grissom and get answers, that will make everything all right."

"Happiness is a progress, you have to work on every day, I doubt it comes to you and stays, if you don't do anything for it."

"Not many people work as hard on things that are important to them as you do. Go home, talk to him and when he's not there, call him, ask him where he is and when he's back home."

"What if he lies?"

"Then you confront him with what we saw yesterday. He should use this for the truth and the truth is better a great surprise for you, something he needed help for. If not, you know he lies and is probably not very faithful. In this case, he doesn't deserve you."

"I'm afraid of an answer I don't want to hear." She confessed. The idea Grissom told her, he and Heather had an affair tore her heart apart.

"The truth can hurt, lies hurt more."

"Fuck." She buried her face in her hands for a few seconds, took a deep breath and got up. Hiding wasn't a solution. "Okay, I go home and see what happens there. If he's there."

"You do that and if you need me, give me a call and I'll be there for you. You don't have to go through this alone. If he hurts you, tell me and I find him and punch the crap out of him, I don't care when he has friends with LVPD, he hurts you, he deserves a few good slaps. And if you need somebody to make him jealous by sitting with you over a nice dinner, I'm your man."

"Thanks." She bent over and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Doug."

"You're welcome." He pulled her in his arms. "Always remember, you're way too precious to let anybody play with you, hurt you."

"I really hope it's not what it's look like. There must be explanations, good ones and a very good reason for everything."

"There will be. Go, get answers and remember, if you need me, I come over. And bring some ice cream, apparently women prefer to suffer with a lot of ice cream around."

She laughed shortly. "I guess a whiskey is better."

"No, we don't want to fight bad feelings with alcohol, that makes things only worse."

He was right. She should be over this behavior, drowning things in alcohol. She did it years ago, it got her only in trouble and she didn't want nor need this back. Ice cream was much better, she might need more of it, but even after a big box, she could drive and didn't get pulled over by cops.


	9. Chapter 9

**9.**

Going home never felt as hard as it did today. She felt like with every step she took, it got harder and harder, her feet felt heavier and she wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing. He could be home. Then what? Tell him what she saw yesterday? Tell him, she saw him with Heather while he told her, he was in South America, had no time to come back, was too busy to call. He lied to her, betrayed her? Could there be an excuse good enough to forget the pain? Forget what he did? Even when he didn't 'do' anything, he lied to her.

Or he wasn't there, their place was empty. And then what? Call him again? What if he didn't answer? Could she handle all the pictures in her head? Could she handle the drama playing there? Well, it played already. If he didn't answer his phone, did it mean he was back in South America? Or was he with Heather and…busy? Shouldn't she be with her patients? Or did she take a few days off, knowing he was here. Probably he had the time to call her, let her know, he was on his way. Let anybody know but the stupid wife.

Anger started to build up inside Sara's stomach. Anger, about Grissom lying to her, about herself believing him, about not going over and tell him, if he prefers to be with Heather, he should stay there and never ever come back nor call her again. Why did she walk on? Why didn't she demand answers yesterday evening? She could have all the answers she wanted and needed by now. Instead she was wondering what was going on, where she stood.

Doug. He was…it felt like they had never been apart. Like it hadn't been thirteen years since they met for the last time. He was cute, he was…oh come on, be honest to yourself, he is damn sexy! And he did everything to make her feel better. She bet he wouldn't let his wife wait for him for weeks, would tell her right away, when he had a chance to go home, stay home as long as possible.

Why did Grissom not stay in Las Vegas? It wasn't like he couldn't teach here. Vegas had a university and even when he wanted to work outside Vegas, three were plenty of places in the States to work, places, that made it easy to fly back home to see your wife. If she was important enough for you.

She opened the door to their apartment. Silence greeted her. No husband standing there, waiting for her with a plant. Or flowers. No sign of his shoes, jacket, anything else of him. It looked the way she left the place. Sara felt her heart ache. When he wasn't here last night, where was he? Heather, Heather, Heather, a voice in her ear called. He was with Heather, like yesterday when you saw him with her. Your own husband prefers not to be with you.

With fast paces she walked through the apartment, checked the kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom and balcony. Nothing. The whole place was empty.

Maybe he had been here, wondered where she was and went to the lab, to surprise her there, take her home. Or he left to get some lunch, buy a nice bottle of wine and celebrate with her later him being back home. A possibility. Or an excuse she made up for him why he wasn't here and for herself so she didn't have to face, what was more likely. He wasn't here because he was with Heather.

Again she checked her cell phone. No missed phone call, no message, nothing. It was like the screen, that showed her nothing else than the time and date, laughed at her. Laughed because she was a fool and believed a long distance relationship could work out. A fool, who believed she was made for a relationship, that could last forever. A fool, who believed, she deserved to be loved by a man, be the only one for her. History showed her, she had an unlucky hand for men, who cheated on her. It started in high school when she saw her boyfriend kissing a cheerleader, going over to college, where she found the underwear of another woman in her boyfriend's room, to Hank, who used her to cheat on her girlfriend. They had betrayed her all the time. Again and again. Instead of learning, she made the same mistakes all over again, naive enough to believe, this time everything was different. It would never be different.

No, that wasn't right. There was somebody, who didn't betray her, didn't cheat on her and never let her down. Doug. Was this his mistake? Was it the reason why Sara and he split? Was she afraid to find somebody, who was faithful, who cared for her and needed her, just as much as she needed him. Until yesterday she thought Grissom was this man, but…he showed so less interest in her the last months, didn't try to come back home as much as possible. And now she found him with Heather in Vegas, when he told her, he was in South America.

How often had he told her he was at work, too busy to come back home, when was with Heather? Was their marriage build on a lie? Didn't he go to Heather while they were engaged? Or just broke off because she told him in a video, she was fine and accepted his decision about not making a decision. Back then he didn't think their relationship was more important than work. He stayed in Vegas, knowing how much she needed him, stayed, even when the job had tired him out too.

The more she thought about it, the more she remembered how lost she had been with him. What happened to all the good memories? They seemed to fade away, slowly, like the last snow on a warm spring day. Was their marriage nothing else than a memory in her mind? A memory of better days. Days they spent together. Like in Paris. France had been a great time for their relationship. Sara wasn't happy with her work situation, as she stayed at home all the time, but they had each other, saw each other every day.

Should she give up Las Vegas and go with him to South America? Travel with him to various places, learn interesting things about culture. Most important, have a real marriage life again. And not a…a situation, in that her husband seemed to spend his past time with another woman, lied to her about his whereabouts and…whereabouts. This sounded like she talked about a criminal and not her husband.

She looked at the picture of them, taken in Peru four years ago. After their wedding. A happy time, both of them enjoyed South America. Was it the answer of their problems? South America, their new home? Or was she looking for a way to get something back, they had lost a long time ago? Was would be different in South America when she go there now? It didn't change about Grissom not telling her where he was, what he did. Didn't change the fact, her husband lied when he told her, he was in South America and busy. He was in Vegas and…kind of busy with another woman.

Heather…there had been something between them all the time. Sara remembered when she was with Cath at a scene and the other woman told her about Heather and Grissom. The only woman that ever rattle Grissom. A special women, he spent more than one night at her place and never broke the contact to her. He bent rules, overstepped lines for her. Was it all because they were friends or were they friends with benefits?

Sara got up, walked to the cupboard, opened it and looked inside. A bottle of whiskey, various beer bottles. No help, no solution, but a way to cope. Not the right way, she was aware of it, but it was so tempting, just grab a bottle and drink your thoughts and problems away…and end up where you've been a few years ago.

Another look at the bar, the whiskey was good, she knew. Only one glass and her world would look better. Happier. It could make her life happier, or at least take away the pain and sorrow for a little while.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed a number.

"I guess I could need some ice cream." Was all she said when the phone was picked up. Ice cream was a better option than whiskey. At least she hoped it could help her.


	10. Chapter 10

**10.**

"Want some more?"

"No, thanks, I'm full." Sara pushed away the empty bowl. She couldn't remember the last time she ate this much ice cream. The big packet was almost empty and most of it ended up in her stomach. Plus cream. Her calories for the next…four days…or so.

"Feeling better?"

"A little bit." She closed her eyes and leant on his shoulder. After her call it took him less than fifteen minutes to come over and bring ice cream. He didn't ask any questions, only let her show where the bowls and spoon were and ate in silence with her, providing a shoulder to lean on.

"He wasn't here. Not this morning, not last night. I checked for it, there was no evidence of Gil in the apartment. And me talking about evidence when the topic is my husband, sounds very suspicious."

"We saw him with another woman yesterday, here in Vegas while he told you, he is in South America. I'm not a cop, but in my world, you have every reason to be suspicious."

"Like I had every reason to drink this bottle of whiskey."

"Why drink whiskey alone, get yourself a hell of a hangover, when you can eat ice cream with me and get…well, with the amount you ate, an upset stomach. Don't worry, I will hold back your hair."

She had to laugh. "No, you won't."

"Wouldn't be the first time I do it."

"The last time was really the last time." And it was such a long time ago, it wasn't real anymore. It was…a kind of old not funny ancient story.

"Good, it wasn't a good reason why you drank back then, I'm glad you chose the ice cream today. And I know, Jack, Jim and Johnny can be pretty good friends, they're friends you want to have around when you're happy. When you're sad, they're no help at all."

"No, there is a better help available." She smiled at him.

"I hope so."

"I know so." She took his hand. "I'm glad and grateful you came. It was a long night, you're not used to work nights and…nevertheless instead of going to bed, get your well deserved sleep, you came here, bought ice cream and listen to my whine."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right." Sara kissed his cheek. "You're good friend…and I wonder…"

"Don't go there, Sara."

"You have no idea what I was about to say."

"Yes I do." He moved away a little bit. "I know exactly what you were about to say and I have to tell you, it's better we don't talk about it. You're hurt, you've every reason to be hurt, but to get even with your husband by saying, what you were about to say, is not the right way. I know I was…I made it quite clear I don't mind us going back to where we left before you went to Vegas, but…not before you make it clear to your husband, the marriage is over. If you want revenge for what Grissom did to you, please do this with somebody else. I'm not available for a little cheat. Sorry."

"Doug…"

"No need to explain or apologize, we can forget about it." He pulled her in his arms. "You're a good person, an honest woman, who doesn't betray her husband."

"I don't want to be a good wife anymore."

"You're a good person, it's in your DNA, you can't change it."

"Maybe whiskey had been the better idea."

"Because it takes away the ability to think straight? Makes people do crazy things, they regret later? No, not your style and we're both not twenty-five anymore. Remember, back then? Rusty Nickel."

"Don't ever mention this place again!" Sara laughed and the awkward tensions she had before, were all gone. This was also so much Doug. She was about to do something stupid and he stopped her, didn't mention it again and just kept going, like nothing had happened. Or reminded her of things, he knew they'd make her laugh.

"Why? We had some real fun there."

"No…not fun we want to mention here."

"It makes you smile. But I think we stop talking about our past and go back to the present. It's time to go to bed. We both have work to do. You go in your bed and I go back to my hotel room."

"You can stay here…on the couch?"

"And get shot by your husband when he comes home? No, no sleep over party until you haven't decided what to do next. And you haven't. Shall I take the whiskey with me or will you be a good girl and stay away from the alcohol?"

"No alcohol, there's no space for anything in my stomach left. I feel very pregnant with ice cream."

"I'm sure you look beautiful when you're pregnant and a mini Sara will be absolutely cute."

"We will never know."

"Never say never." He got up. "If you feel like it, give me a call for dinner. In case your husband decides to come home, tell him the truth, tell him you saw him and demand a very good - and honest - explanation for it. If he's here and you need somebody to support you, you know my number. In case you need more ice cream - go to a supermarket."

"Okay." She chuckled. "Thanks again for coming here."

"My pleasure." He gave her a hug. "I see you tonight."

"In better shape and…hopefully with my dignity back."

"You never lost your dignity. Nothing happened, nothing to regret." He kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep, it was a long and hard night."

"We'll close the case tonight, right?"

"Of course. We're the greatest. But you have to promise me one thing, Sara."

"Whatever you want." And she meant it. Whatever he wanted, she would give it to him. She knew, he wouldn't ask for something she didn't want to do.

"When this case is closed and I've to go back to Frisco, we stay in contact. And it won't be another thirteen years before we have ice cream together again." Doug smiled.

"Deal." She squeezed his hand. A trip to San Francisco to see him again. Like the last days showed, they were still friends and he was a person, she could rely on.


	11. Chapter 11

**11.**

When Sara woke up she stopped breathing for a few seconds, lay still and listened the sound around her. She heard somebody jump in the apartment above her, the sound of the street through the open window, loud music from the apartment next door but no sound from her own apartment. The place next to her in bed was cold and empty, if Grissom was here, he had to be in the living room, quiet. Maybe he sat in his favorite chair and read a book. It was five in the afternoon, time to get up. She had a case to close and not only a private life to worry about.

Slowly she got up and walked into the living room. Empty. Just like her kitchen. Empty, with no traces of Grissom. No traces on her cell phone and no letter under her front door. Sure, Grissom writes her a love letter and leaves it at their door, like a teenager in love. In which fantasy world did she live?

While she prepared herself for work in the bathroom her dinner, a pizza, was in the oven. Some fuel for her stomach before a few more hours of work lay in front of her. Twelve or much it took to close the case. She wanted it to be over. Move on and…did it have to do with Doug? No! Actually she liked the fact he was here. Maybe he could come back and…she promised him to stay in touch.

Back to Grissom. Her husband didn't call, he didn't come home. What do to now? She sighed, turned off the oven and got her cell phone. Give it another try, there was nothing to lose. More than listen to his voice mail again couldn't happen. His voice telling her, he was busy and would call back as soon as he had the time. What if he didn't have the time? When he was too busy with…other things.

And when he answered the phone, she asks him where he was and he says: Las Vegas, with Heather. I changed my mind about us, don't want to be with you anymore. She has more style, has no problems with me being away all the time and she beats me at mental chess. It is more fun to be with her than with you. Sorry Sara, our marriage is over, it's better we continue our lives without each other. You told me once you were fine without me, I'm sure you'll fine without me again.

These thoughts made her take deep breaths to reduce the heartbeat and the pain she felt. Did the pain mean she was still in love with him? What a stupid question, of cause she loved him. He was her husband, they were married and…why did she wonder about these things? She should know about her feelings, should know they were meant for each other and there was no way they could not be together. So why did she doubt them? Where came all these doubts from? Was it because she saw Grissom and Heather in the café?

Her cell phone rang, her heart jumped and she looked at the I.D. of the caller. Not Grissom. She really thought it was him calling her, telling he, he was here and ready to see her. Ready for a welcome back in town celebration. The best reason to come in late at work.

"Hey Doug."

"Hey Sara, how are you? Do you need a food delivery?"

"No, I've got a pizza ready to eat."

"No more ice cream?"

"Not today and not tomorrow."

"Grissom?"

"No sign of him, no message, nothing. I wonder if we were wrong. Or if I was wrong. Maybe it was a man, who looked like Grissom."

"Grey hair, beard, old fashioned shirt, glasses, teddy bear style man, intense eyes, full of interested for the one he listened to. A slightly ridiculous looking hat next to him on the chair."

"Did you take a photo?"

"No, I remember details. If I told you about this man, would you have guessed it's your husband?"

"Yes." She sighed.

"You know how your husband looks like, you married him. Even when you're having a long distance relationship, you know your husband, you recognize him, when you see him. When he sits less than thirty yards away from you, in bright daylight. Don't question yourself, nothing is wrong with you. Question him, if somebody makes a mistake, it's him. Not you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe it?"

"Kind of." She tried to, she really did, but it wasn't easy. To her, it was always easier to blame herself instead of another person.

"Change this. You did nothing wrong. Would you like some company while you have dinner?"

"All you want is half of my pizza, forget it, it's all mine. You made me eat a lot of ice cream, I will continue this unhealthy lifestyle, alone and in dignity."

"All right." He laughed. "Enjoy your pizza, I see you soon at work. And Sara?"

"Yes?"

"I've got the feeling we'll close the case today. I've got a feeling of victory."

"Must be the ice cream flash from today. If you're right, we have a reason to celebrate later. I buy breakfast."

"Now this is a reason for me to work even harder. Later Sara."

"Later Doug." She ended the call and got up to get her pizza. Wasn't he cute? He called to make sure, she was fine, offered to come along, be her company, listen to her whine.

Why wasn't her husband a little bit like Doug? Why didn't he call, make sure she was fine? The last time he called was…a long time ago. At least it felt like it.

"No more whining, no more waiting and wondering, it was time to get some answers." She dialed his number. "Answer the phone, answer the phone, answer the phone." She mumbled. It rang twice, three times, four times. "Come on, pick up the bloody phone."

"Hi, this is Grissom." No, not again. Not again the voice mail. "Please leave a message."

"Hello Gilbert, this is Sara. Please call me, we need to talk…I…I need some answers. I…I want to know where you are, when you're back with me." Did she sound desperate? Did her voice sound accusing? Was it wrong she did this? Now it was too late, she couldn't take it back, couldn't delete it. Hopefully he listened to it soon and called.

She really needed some answers, otherwise she would drive herself crazy. And continue to live in a nightmare, that might have become reality.

Before she could get her pizza out of the oven her cell phone rang and this time the I.D. was her husband.


	12. Chapter 12

**12.**

"Hey Gil, how are you?" He must have listen to her message, maybe the voice mail was too fast and this was why he couldn't answer the phone.

"Hey, I'm fine. What's up? You said you had to talk to me immediately."

"Uhm yes." Was it this strange she wanted to talk to him? Didn't he want to talk to her? Was her request really unusual? "Where are you? I miss you."

"You know where I am, South America."

"South America?" Was he back already? Did he leave Vegas before he came here to see her? Did he only come to Vegas to see Heather, spent some time with her and left again? This couldn't be true.

"Really?"

"Of course. Where else should I be?"

"How about Vegas?" She really said it. Was she about to confront him with what she saw? Was this a good idea? What if she accused him of something he didn't do? What if she was wrong? Saw a man, who looked like Grissom. Doug's word came back into her mind. Describing a man, who looked like Grissom and he never saw him. And she damn knew how her husband looked like.

"Vegas?"

"Yes."

"Why do you think this?"

"Because…" To hell, she couldn't go back, even when she made herself look ridiculous, she needed to get it off her chest. "I was at the 'Flor de loto' yesterday and I passed the 'Coffee bean jar' and I…I think I saw you there." She couldn't say the words, I saw you and Heather there, just the thought of it hurt, made her feel sick. The thought of him lying to her all the time; or for a while. Mention the café, mention she walked pass there and might have seen him with Heather to see what he did with this information.

"Grissom?" Did the connection broke? Did he hang up the phone? "Grissom?" No answer.

"I'm sorry, we should really talk."

Time stood still. They really need to talk? Did he talk about her seeing things that weren't real? That she needed a break, take some time off to get her body function back to normal, stopped seeing things, that weren't there. Or did they need to talk because her eyes didn't betray her, unlikely her husband, who was there, with another woman and left without seeing her. Or didn't leave at all, was still in Vegas and was with another woman. Doctor Heather Kessler.

"What do you mean?" Her voice was husky. Oh gosh, why did she start all off this? This was what happened when you ask question, knowing you could get an answer, you don't want to hear.

"I mean, there are a few things we should talk about. About us."

"Gil…are you…what are you…" She lost her ability to talk. "Can you come over to talk?" She implied he lied and was in Vegas. Come over from wherever you are, from Heather's place, talk to me. Tell me what happened, what went wrong.

"We should talk tomorrow. I try to make it to for breakfast. Seven?"

"Tomorrow? Why don't you tell me what's going on now?" How was she supposed to concentrate on her work with this in her head? It was impossible.

"I can't, I'm…" The connection broke.

"Fuck!" She re-dialed his number and got straight to voice mail. What happened? Why did he end the call? Or why broke the connection? Was he in a place with a bad signal and lost it? Did this mean he was in South America? Somewhere in the jungle. The signal in the jungle was bad, if you had one at all. She knew about it.

Or he disconnected the call. He said, he wanted to talk to her tomorrow. Seven. Breakfast. It wasn't possible to get from South America to Vegas overnight when you hadn't booked a ticket, hadn't arranged a transport to the airport. So how could he make it to their place by seven in the morning, when he wasn't already in Las Vegas? He couldn't. He had to be in Las Vegas, which meant, he was with Heather and lied to her. And he didn't lose the signal, he ended the call.

Suddenly she started to feel sick, stormed into the bathroom and threw up. This was too much. Her head felt like she was in a roller coaster. Roller coaster, he liked roller coaster, rode them a lot. To her it felt like not like fun, it felt like…she had to throw up again. Was it because of the ice cream or the conversation? It was a little late for the ice cream, wasn't it? It had to be the phone call.

Exhausted, tears running down her face, she sat down, leant her forehead on the cold stone wall, tried to even her breath. Slow down, Sara, maybe you are overreacting. You have no hard evidence all the bad pictures in your head are right. You have no physical evidence that proves Grissom did anything wrong. All you have are clues and accusations. She could be wrong. There could be a good explanation for everything. Like. Like. Like what?

She tried to get up only to fall back on the floor. No balance. She wasn't able to get up and walk, her knees felt like jelly, she had no balance to keep herself on her two feet. It was better she stayed here a little bit, gave herself some time. The floor was nice and cold. It felt good to leave her head on it, rest there, let the cold flow through your body.

Thirsty. She was thirsty. Not for water, she wanted a drink. A good one, a strong one. The nice bottle of whiskey in her bar, it sounded like the perfect solution for all her problems. All she had to do was get up, get it and forget all her sorrow and pain. Drown it and herself with it. And if the whiskey wasn't enough, there was some beer left. Drown your sorrow, use a lot of alcohol, these little fuckers can swim.

But she had to go to work. Had to solve a case. Yeah sure, like she was in a position to work the case, leave alone close it. She was barely capable of sitting upright, how was she supposed to go to work, pretend everything was all right and do her work? Go there, talk to her colleagues and friends, feeling and seeing their looks, knowing they knew something was wrong with her. Hell, she cried like a baby, her eyes had to be red. She threw up, couldn't walk, when she looked at her situation in a realistic way, she knew, she was in no position to work.

Maybe it was better she called in sick, stay here and work the situation out - together with the whiskey. Whiskey didn't give you a lot of answers, but it listened to your problems, made you feel understood and helped to forget whatever you wanted to forget. Right now, she wanted to forget her husband, what he did and do and what he could tell her tomorrow.


	13. Chapter 13

**13.**

It was a little bit after six when the doorbell rang. What happened to Grissom's key and why was he here already? They said seven. She wasn't ready to see him, the apartment wasn't ready for him, she had to clean up a little bit and…whom was she kidding? She could barely stand on her feet, how was she supposed to clean up the apartment?

"What happened to…Doug!" Not her husband, her ex. What the hell was he doing here? Him being here was worse than Grissom. She didn't want him to see her like this.

"You look like shit." He pushed her aside, took a look around the apartment. "So does the apartment. What happened?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here for you, you called in sick, I wanted to know how you are." His eyes fell on the empty bottle of whiskey in the kitchen. "Don't tell me you drank all of it."

"Okay, I won't tell you." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. He was in no position to demand explanations, it wasn't his business what she did and didn't do.

He bent forward and smelled on her breath. "Good, you didn't drink it, what happened?"

"Not important."

"What did Grissom say?"

"Stay out of my marriage, Doug."

"Are you still in a marriage, Sara? Come on, you're not sick, you called in sick because you didn't want anybody to see your red eyes. What did he say? Did he lie? Told you he wasn't in Vegas?"

"It's none of your business."

"I made it my business. So? What did he say?" Doug picked up the empty bottle and threw it into the recycling box.

"We need to talk and he'll be here at seven."

"Did he tell you, he was in South America?"

Sara looked down, bit on her lips.

"Okay, he did. Asshole. Seven, huh? Let you suffer through the night, let you go crazy with thoughts what happened, made you fight your fear, didn't care about what you feel. He is in Vegas, there's no way he can make it from South America to Vegas overnight. Not if the trip is spontaneous. He lied. He's here and instead of coming over right away, take away the pressure of you, he waits for twelve hours or so. Great man. He is not the brightest when it comes to social knowledge, is he?"

Sara shook her head. No, Grissom had never been great in this area, neither had she. It was a reason why they fit together so well. When you don't know the rules, you can't get mad when your partner breaks them.

"Sorry to tell you, but you deserve better. A better husband and most of all, you deserve to be better treated. Not the way he does. Why can't he be honest and say it's over?"

"You want it over! Because you think you've got a chance to get me back!" Sara yelled. She had no idea where this fury came from, but she had the urge to let it out, yell at him, tell him, she knew exactly what he was doing, what his plan was. He tried to play her, wanted to get lucky. Did he really believe, she'd jump into bed with him only because he pretended he cared? Was there when she bad. Came alone and said a few oh so smart things. Like he knew how a happy marriage worked out. There had to be a reason why his wife cheated on him.

"Leave me alone! Leave me all alone! I don't want to see anybody! Go out! Go!" She started smashing her fists on his chest, blind with fury and tears, helpless, the last try to show the world, show him and herself, she was strong and didn't care.

Like her punches were nothing, he grabbed her arms and pulled her close, not caring she fought him, tried to push him away, punch him more. Doug held on to her and it took less than a minute before Sara stopped fighting, gave in and all of her anger, that was left, were tears.

She knew she lost her husband, she knew whatever he had to say wasn't something good, nothing she wanted to hear. It was over. Her dream of a happy family, of an ordinary life, with a loving husband and all the kitsch, was over.

"He'll tell me it's over. He'll tell me he lied to me for weeks. Months. That Heather is the one, he always wanted. Our marriage was a lie right from the beginning. I have never been his first choice." Sara sobbed, her face burying into Doug's shirt.

"You don't know for sure what he'll say." He knew he didn't sound convincing. All the evidence pointed towards the fact, Grissom betrayed Sara with another woman. He lied and Doug didn't believe, he lied for the first time when they talked on the phone last night. How many times had Grissom be in Vegas, when he told Sara, he was busy working in South America?

"He's in Vegas, he's with her and I…I was stupid enough to believe him all the time."

"You're a good person, you expect the people you love, to be good too."

"I should know better. People I love were never good to me. It started when I was a child and my father hit me and ends in this marriage. It's my destiny to be unhappy."

"No, it's not. Your way to happiness is only longer and harder but you'll get there."

"Too hard for me."

"Sara Sidle has never been a woman, who gives up. When the going gets tough, Sara Sidle gets going. Don't let him take this away. Never let a man take your dignity away."

"I'm not sure if there's some dignity left."

"There is." He let go of her hands.

"I'm scared of what he'll say."

"Do you want me to stay here?"

She thought about it. "No, no I think it's better when I'm alone."

"You don't want him to get a wrong impression."

"I never did anything wrong."

"No, you didn't. You said he comes around at seven?"

"Yes."

"Good, that leaves a few minutes for us to clean up the place. No matter what he has to say, there is no reason why he should see, how much you suffered the last hours. I take care of the kitchen, you take the rest?"

"Doug, you don't have to…"

"I want to help you, please don't be too pride to take my help."

"Thanks." She looked at the living room. "I better start."

"So will I."

Twenty minutes before Grissom should be here. If he came at all and was on time. What if he appeared here with Heather? To make it very obvious, it was over? Could she handle it? Was it better when Doug stayed? To support her. Sara sadly shook her head. Support for a conversation with her husband. They came this far. Very sad.

* * *

MARRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!


	14. Chapter 14

**14.**

"I better leave." Doug looked at his watch. "Grissom will be here any second." The apartment looked better than twenty minutes ago, not very clean and tidy, but not messy anymore.

"Thanks for your help."

"You're welcome. Call me. No matter what he says, let me know how you are and if you need me - or some more ice cream. I can be here within minutes."

"I promise. But no more ice cream, I still feel sick when I sick about it."

"All right, no ice cream, no alcohol." He hugged her. "Be strong, keep your dignity, no matter what he says, you deserve the best."

"Thanks." She walked him to the door and opened it, starring right into the face of her husband. "Grissom."

"Am I interrupting anything?" He raised his eyebrows, gave Doug a good look over.

"No, I came here to tell Sara the news about the case, but she told me, her husband is about to come over, so I call you later." He looked at her. "I tell you about the case later, there are some good news."

"Really?"

"Yes. Doctor Grissom." Doug left the apartment, not caring about the unfriendly look he got from Grissom.

"So, who is he? A new colleague?"

"NTSB, we work a case about a plane crash. You might have heard about it in the news" Especially after you're here in Vegas for at least two days.

"And he comes here to tell you about the case?"

"I didn't feel good last night, called in sick and…it doesn't matter. Where have you been?" It wasn't her job to explain herself, she didn't do anything wrong. He was the one who lied, who was with another woman.

"I was busy."

"With Heather." She was surprised she had the strength to confront him with everything. No more asking questions, hoping for good excuses and lies, she could believe, because they were better than the truth, didn't hurt as much as the truth. "I saw you, Gil."

"Weren't you too busy with your toy boy?"

He saw her too? Or why did he know she was there with Doug? And toy boy wasn't the right description, even if they were more than friends; which they weren't. "He isn't my toy boy and I never told you I'm out of town while I'm here and meet somebody else. Somebody, I slept with." A few times over a couple of years.

"So you never slept with Mister Universe for the poor?"

"I did, fourteen years ago, when we were together. Before we met, before we were a couple. With how many women did you sleep since we were engaged and married?" The old fighter was awake and demanded answers, didn't let him scare her or feel guilty. She had no reasons to feel guilty.

"It's not my mistake our marriage ended up like this."

"Not?" She laughed, a bitter laugh.

"You left Paris to go back to Vegas, didn't care where I am, what I do."

"We had an agreement, we both worked on a way to make this work out. You're the one, who is never available on the phone, who vanishes for days, doesn't come home for weeks and when he does, he doesn't tell me, prefers to meet another woman. Why are we married when you want to be with Heather? You talked about a surprise, is it the news, you want a divorce and be with her? Why didn't you tell me?"

"You try to make me the bad one? While you have another man in our apartment?"

"He helped me."

"Since when are you scared all alone in bed?"

"He was never in our bed."

"Did you fuck him on the carpet? Kitchen table? Against the wall? Or all three?"

Sara clenched her hands to fists to keep the control over her body. The anger and fury rose and rose. "He helped me clean up the apartment after I made a mess because your call and your lies made me feel sick and I spent the night fighting with not drinking a whole bottle of whiskey and not smashing everything, I get into my hands, on the walls. He was here to help me, tell me, whatever you have to say, I'm not alone. He's the only one, who supports me. My husband prefers to blame me for him having an affair."

"Ever wondered why this is?"

"So it's true, you and Heather are having an affair." There was her truth. Did she feel better now? No, she didn't. But she didn't feel like somebody punched her in the guts, it was more like…there was no feeling. At least no feeling she could describe.

"Unlike you, she understands me."

"I don't understand you?" She was speechless. "You're right, I don't. I've no idea what you're talking about, I don't really now who you are. Are you really the man I married? Or are you somebody, who looks like him?"

"I am who I am and yes, I was in Vegas yesterday. And the day before yesterday. My plane back goes tonight."

"And if I hadn't called and hadn't said I saw you with Heather, you would have never come here and talk to me, right?"

He didn't answer her, but he didn't have to. She understood. Finally she understood.

"Why did you come here at all?"

"To tell you the truth so you can move on."

"So I leave you alone, stop calling you and you don't have to put up with me anymore, don't have to come up with new lies."

"That's real life, Sara."

"Yeah, real life. In real life this is my apartment, I rent it and I want you to leave and never come back." He wanted real life? He could have it.

"We are…"

"No, there is no 'we' anymore. Go." He wanted to be with another woman, lied to her and told her, he wants to leave her. When the marriage is over, the 'we' is over too. There was only his and hers and this was her apartment.

"You behave like a teenager."

"Me? You jumped the next best woman, destroyed our marriage, not me." She opened the door. "Go. Now." He wasn't worth a please and when he refused to go, she'd push him.

"No style, no dignity." He mumbled.

No style? No dignity? Really? Oh well, in this case she could smash the door before he was really out. She felt how the door hit his back and saw that he stumbled a little bit.

"Asshole." Her voice was low, but all the anger and pain was in this one word and made her feel better. She had no dignity and no style? But a dominatrix had style and dignity? Oh pardon, she was a doctor now. Maybe this was the reason why he decided he wanted her. Doctor Grissom and doctor Kessler. She, Sara, wasn't a doctor, wasn't good enough for him. Oh well, if he wanted Heather it was…it hurt. Now that she didn't have to be strong anymore the anger and fury changed into pain and sadness and she had to fight with tears.

Her marriage was over. It was over. No more happy family. No longer any kind of family. The only one she had was herself. Like most times in her life. Maybe she should get herself a dog, but with the luck she had at the moment, the dog would run away too.

Somebody knocked on the door. Grissom? If he thought she'd let him in, he was wrong. No second chance, no change of minds. He was out and he wanted him there. Under no circumstance she'd open the door for him. No. Not now and not later! And when he tried his keys, she'd smash the door into his face!


	15. Chapter 15

**15.**

He really tried it! She could hear how something was on her door. With all her weight she pushed to keep the door closed but she was pushed away by the force, that opened the door and ended on the ground. Furious she turned around to yell at Grissom, tell him to leave and throw all the words to him, she had on her mind, all the immature words, a woman with no style and dignity uses.

Instead her words stayed where they were because it wasn't Grissom, who opened the door.

"Are you hurt?" Doug was next to her, tried to find out, if she was injured.

"No, I'm fine…how did you open the door?"

"NTSB guys know a lot of things." He helped her up. "I saw him leave."

"You waited?"

"Yes, I wanted to give you your privacy, but I also wanted to make sure, you are all right. When I saw him leave - in a not very elegant way - I knew the conversation wasn't good and he really cheats on you."

"Cheated."

"Past?"

"Yes. He and me are no longer together, he can't cheat on me anymore. Apparently Heather has more style and dignity."

"I doubt this is true. Coffee?"

"No, thanks. I think I can use some breakfast…are you hungry too?"

"Like a wolf."

"Why don't you make us some breakfast?"

"Why me? It's your place."

"You're better in making breakfast than I am. You prepare, I watch and eat."

"Some things never change." He chuckled. "All right, tell me where everything is."

"Pan is left of the oven, eggs are in the fridge, herbs are above the oven, toast and all the other food right top."

"Where's the bacon?" Doug's head came up behind the fridge door.

"Oh, no more bacon, I'm a vegetarian."

"Really?"

"Yes. After…an experiment with a pig I became a vegetarian. Twelve years ago, a long story. Sorry, you have to prepare our eggs without bacon."

"I can do that."

"Tell me about the case, you said you've got good news." She needed some news after the last minutes and the last night. "I'm sorry I wasn't there last night and helped you."

"I closed it."

"Really?" She was surprised. That was fast.

"Yes. With a little help from San Francisco. Joseph found out who tried to kill him, SFPD has an ear on his phones and told us, who made the plane crash. Inside job. In all meanings. A man inside opened the door, the pressure of air sucked him out and the plan was, he wanted to open his parachute and escape alive, but he must have hit his head somewhere or lost conscious and died because the parachute never opened. His body was found last night. And while he fell down the plane continued to fly until it went down too."

"Strange story. How did he find out?"

"He was informed by somebody about the parachute body."

"We have a leak?"

"He has sources, but LVPD has to look closer, who told him and why this person knew about it. I don't hope he bought a cop, but you know the business, it's possible. Want cheese in your scrambled eggs?"

"And chives, please."

"No problem."

"When the case is closed…does it mean you leave?" She didn't want him to leave and it was strange, she felt like this. Didn't she tell herself, it was better when he was gone? Was it a lie? Like the lies Grissom told her?

"When they call me for a new case I have to leave, yes. But first I stay, asked them for a few days off after the last days were pretty busy."

"Good."

He turned and smiled. Not an arrogant smile, a happy one. "You want me to stay?"

"No!"

"Oh, you're such a bad liar." He turned the oven down, went over to her and pulled her into his arms. "I'll stay for two or three days, I doubt they give me more time. But if you need me here, if you need somebody to get through this, let me know and I ask for a few more days. Or, you take a few days off and come with me to San Francisco."

"What for? The Rusty Nickel closed." She chuckled.

"It did and after you're banned…what did you do to…"

"There's no way I tell you."

"Oh come, I find it out anyway. What did you do, Sara Sidle? Did you dance naked on the table? In your wild days."

"In your dreams."

"In my dreams I was there and saw you doing it. Possible danced with you, also naked."

"Hold on to your dreams, you won't get more. And don't forget the toast."

"What am I? Your butler?"

"Yes. Dressed in the wrong kind of clothes, the next time I want to see you in a monkey suit, but for now it's okay to wear jeans and a shirt. As long as you prepare my breakfast."

"Today I let you get away with it. To get your thoughts away from Grissom, to make you smile even when we both know, you're not happy."

"Thanks. I don't feel like talking about it. Yet."

"Whenever you're ready, you let me know. What does vegetarian Sara do when she gets invited to a barbecue? Eat a corn cob?"

"Salad, bread, tofu. There are a lot of other things you can eat when you have a barbecue, no need to have meat all the time."

"What about fish?"

"A fish is an animal too. No animals."

"But animal products?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so your coffee with sugar but no cream has nothing to do with animals. And you eat cheese. There are few new things, I don't know about you Sara and I'm curious to find about them." He placed the eggs in front of her, slipped two slices of toast next to it and a glass of fresh orange juice.

"Maybe you find out a few more things." She waited until he had his breakfast ready too and sat down. "Thanks for preparing this." He knew she meant more than the breakfast.

"You're welcome. Time to eat and then I send you to bed. You need some sleep, even when it will be hard for you to find it. But you can't stay awake the whole day and go back to work tonight. Give yourself a rest and tonight I take you out for dinner. Now that I know you're a vegetarian, I'll find a nice place with good salad."

"Stop flirting with me, I'm still a married woman."

"It's not a flirt, it's a promise. Sevenish?"

"All right, you won't give up anyway and a locked door doesn't stop you neither."

"No, it doesn't. Only you telling me, you don't want to see me, stops me." He smiled and sipped on his coffee.


	16. Chapter 16

**16.**

It was a little bit after four when Sara woke up. Her sleep wasn't the best, her dreams were strange and most of the times she dreamed of her life with Grissom. About the happy times they had, about the first time they met, all the things they had been through and the worst time, when she saw Heather and Grissom. Again and again she saw her husband and the other woman sitting in the café and each time, the scenery got worse. First they talked, then they hold hands, then they kissed and the last time, he could practically see them making love on the table. She felt sick when she woke up and it was hard not to throw up on the floor.

With sleepy eyes she went into the living room.

"Good afternoon, Sleepy Beauty." Doug sat on the couch and read the newspaper. He stayed over to make sure, she was fine. Like her personal male nurse.

"Hey, how did you sleep?"

"Good, your couch is very comfortable. You don't look like you had a good sleep, more like you had a couple of nightmares."

"I did, I saw Grissom and Heather in way, I never want to see them. Not that I want to see them at all." She shivered when she thought about it. Get your mind off it, Sara, don't think about it. You can't influence your subconscious, but you can influence what you think of while you're awake. At least a little bit.

"Can I make you some dinner?" After he made breakfast for, it was only fair when she took care of dinner. And she couldn't send him home, after he stayed here for her.

"No, I take you out for dinner, remember? You've got two hours to prepare yourself - not that you need it, but I do."

"Sweet-talker."

"Honest. There's some coffee in the kitchen. Hot."

"Thanks."

"Whatever it takes to make you happy." He got up. "Let me know if you need something. Like a new lock. Change it, Sara. Today. This way you won't come home and find Grissom in here. If he wants to see you, he has to call you, ask you if you have some time for him. And when he wants his things, he can as your lawyer or wait until you throw them out of the window."

"I'll buy a new lock right away. Half an hour and it's done."

"Good." He pulled her in his arms and kissed her hair. "Your eyes are a little bit red."

"Shall I wear sunshades later? While we have dinner?"

"No, we will try to make your red eyes disappear in a different way." He let go of her. "Two hours, Sidle, don't let me wait."

"I never let you wait."

"True, you're one of the few women, how are on time. Quarter past six, my dear."

"Quarter past six, I'll be at my door, hungry." She smiled. Two hours to get a new lock and make herself look a little bit less like a cry baby. Tonight she'd go back to work and didn't want everybody to see, something was wrong. They'd find out about her and Grissom's separation sooner or later anyway.

With a new lock in her front door and most of Grissom's clothes in bags, ready to give them away or let him get them - from in front of her apartment. She didn't want him in here anymore. Like she hoped she'd never bump into him and Heather in a café or on the street. Her private cell phone was switched off. Why weren't her feelings switched off? Why did she still think of him? Miss him? He hurt her, lied to her and she missed him. No, she missed the Grissom, she fell in love with. The man, who asked her, after a bee stung her, if she wants to marry him. The man, who left Vegas to be with her. Her husband. The man she married. What happened to this man? Where was he? Where did she lose him? When? And why?

Was there really no other way than a divorce? There were so many ways to save a marriage, so many ways to save what's important to you. The question was, was it important to her to save her marriage? And to him? Didn't he make it obvious he wanted to be with Heather? Because she had style. And Sara? What did Sara have? He told her once, she was the only one he ever loved. Was this a lie too? Was it always a lie when he said, he loved her? Missed her. The last time he wrote it, in the message, he said he had a surprise for her, it was. She was sure about this now.

So, what did this mean to her? She had to change her life. Again. Leave Vegas? No, she liked Vegas, she had her friends and work here and…and the possibility to run into Grissom with Heather. Like she did two days ago. Could she handle that? Or was it better to go somewhere else, where nothing reminded her of Grissom.

Back to San Francisco? Back to…her past? It was a good time. Most of it. Or a new place? She had no idea. Maybe she needed some more time to think about everything, come up with new plans. Running away from her problems and past was no solution. She tried this too.

A divorce. Some might say they saw that coming. That it couldn't work out because she and Grissom were too alike. As nice as it is to have somebody, who ticks like you do, sooner or later you get bored, look for some change, for something new, something exciting. Sara was a lot of things, but she wasn't exciting. Heather, on the other hand, was. Just her past, her jobs, made her unusual, exciting, like you got your hands on the cookie jar, knowing, you weren't allowed to do so. No wonder her husband tuned his attention away from her, to the woman, he has been interested in for many years. Who had something about her, that made him be there, come to her, whenever she wanted it. No matter what Sara wanted or thought. When Heather needed him, he was there. And while she wanted him to make a decisions, Heather let him live his life, knowing she'd get him anyway.

When she heard somebody knocking on her door, she checked her watch. Half past five, this couldn't be Doug, it was too early for him. Grissom? What would she do when he was here? When he told her, he had been an idiot, was sorry and wanted her back. Would she give in? Would she take him back? Or what if he was here to tell her again, it was over and he wanted all his things back, wanted to get them himself? She didn't want him in the apartment. Did this also answer if she wanted him back in her life? How could she want him in her life when she didn't want him in her apartment?

Or was it Doug, who was early? No, he would have let her know it's him, call her name through the door. He knew how she felt, that she'd think it's Grissom. The postman? Or a neighbor, who wanted to borrow some flour or salt? Whoever it was, just don't let it be Grissom, she thought. Could she pretend, she wasn't here? No, somebody knocked on her door again, like this person knew, she was here and listened.

Looked like she had to open the door and see, who was there and demanded to be let inside her apartment.


	17. Chapter 17

**17.**

"Sara?"

"Greg?" She was relieved to see him. Not Grissom. What he doing here? She opened the door. Her younger colleague and friend stood there, a little bit worried.

"How are you?"

"I'm…all right." Not fine, after all, she called in sick last night.

"I wanted to make sure you're all right. You called in sick last night, what is wrong?"

"Nothing, I just had…a bad day, an upset stomach and these things, I feel better today. Much better."

"You don't look too good."

She sighed. That was Greg, her friend, a reason why she liked him this much. He was honest to her, all the time, even when it made him say not nice things. Should she tell him about her and Grissom? About Grissom and Heather?

"Come in." That was the first step, she couldn't let him stand in the hallway. Let him in, talk to him for half an hour and then…she had no idea. She was supposed to have dinner with Doug. Was it strange to have dinner with your ex boyfriend after your husband and you just broke up? Probably. But just because it was strange, it didn't mean it was wrong, right?

"Would you like some coffee?" She offered.

"Sure."

Pouring two cups of coffee and carrying them over to the table, Sara sat down, opposite of Greg, not sure how to start or if it was better to wait until he started to say something. She couldn't start a conversation with words like 'by the way, Grissom and me split up' or 'I saw my husband with another woman and when I told him this last night, he told me our marriage is over'.

"What's wrong, Sara? Did something happen to Grissom?"

Did something happen to him? Kind of. A tragic case of he fell for another woman. A broken heart for herself. Again. Gosh, she had quite a collection. Or was it the same heart, that broke all the time? In this case her heart had to be covered with scars. An explanation why she felt like a hardhearted women sometimes.

"He's in Vegas."

"Really? That's great, where is he?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean with you don't know?" He looked confused. How could she not know where he was when he was in Vegas.

"Greg…Grissom and me…he is with somebody else."

"You're kidding!" He didn't believe her, of course he didn't. She couldn't believe her own words. It sounded unreal, like a bad story.

"No. When I…I saw him two days ago with somebody else. Here in Vegas. He told me, he's still in South America. I called his cell phone later, spoke on his voice mail we need to talk, he called back and came over this morning. He's with somebody else, that's the reason why he barely answered his phone, his visits became less and less frequently." Could she hold back her tears? She tried, fought for it. Took little breaks to keep her breath even, to let her voice not sound too shaky. Keep your dignity, keep your strength. This wasn't the last time she told this story, there were a few more times coming, with more people around, with more questions. She had to keep herself under control.

"He left you?"

"Yes."

"Oh Sara." Greg got up and pulled her into his arms. Great, gone was her self-control and back were her tears. Not the best start. She couldn't end up crying all the time.

"What happened?"

"I'm not the one he wants anymore. Or at all. I don't know."

"Do you know who…?"

"Heather."

"As in Lady Heather? Doctor Kessler?"

"Yes." Of course he knew her, everybody in the lab did. They all knew the stories about Grissom and Heather, they all knew the stories that happened or might have happened between them.

"I don't believe it. Why would he leave your for her? You're much better than her."

"Apparently he thinks different."

"And he didn't tell you?"

"Not until I told him and I saw them together two days ago, when he was - according to his story - in South America. Too busy to call. Well, he was busy, just not with what I thought and not where he said he was."

"Shit. Anything I can do for you?"

"No, I've to get through this alone."

"Sara, you don't have to be the lonely wolf, fight through this alone. Friends are there to help you out, when you need them. I am your friend, or am I wrong?"

"No, of course not, you're right." She sighed. "It's just, I've no idea what would help me."

"Distraction? Take your thoughts off him, what he did and said? Like a dinner date."

"Sorry, somebody was faster."

"Seriously? Who? Let me guess: NTSB guy."

"Yes."

"Are you…?"

"No! He's…we used to date years ago, but that's over. He was with me, we wanted to have some coffee, when I saw Grissom and Heather, so basically he has been with me through all of this and knows about everything."

"And now he invites you to dinner?"

"Don't be this cynical. He wants to distract me, the same thing you have on your mind. You can come with us, we go to a vegetarian restaurant."

"Two is company, three's a crowd."

She rolled her eyes. "I've got no intention to change anything, my husband told me less than twenty-four hours ago he cheated on me for a while and is with somebody else. I'm not in the mood to start over with somebody else nor am I in the mood for an adventure. Also not as a kind of payback."

"Okay. Will I get a chance to spend some time with you too? Or are you fully booked by Doug? What's he still doing here, anyway? The case is closed."

"He has a few days off and wants to spend them here, like you, he thinks, I need some distraction."

"Distraction from the ex? Doesn't sound like a good idea. More like he wants to continue what you ended years ago."

"Like I said, it's not my plan and I won't let him change my mind. Dinner, conversation, that's all. You can stop being jealous. Besides, aren't you and Morgan…?"

"No."

"But you're on a way to it, don't tell me you're not interested in her. You have a crush on her since she came here for the first time. I know you, Greggo."

"No comment."

Sara smiled. "No comment needed. She's nice but…Ecklie as your father-in-law?"

"Don't make me feel sick!"

"Sorry. I'm going to kick you out, now. It's time for dinner, I need to change and no, I don't mean into something flashy, I mean into something I can wear at work later."

"I don't mind if you wear a short black dress at work."

"I do." She got up and hugged him. "Thanks for coming here. Could you please…"

"No word will cross my lips about you and Grissom. Or you and NTSB guy. But they'll find out sooner or later - about you and Grissom."

"I know and I plan to tell them. Just not tonight. I need a little bit more time to get some distance, otherwise I end up crying all the time and that's something I don't want."

"Whenever you need arms to hide, mine are open for you all the time."

"Thanks." She knew she could count on him. He was always there for her. And she was sure, the next few weeks, she needed him around a lot. Probably Greg was the best medicine for her. Time to start her life all over again. A life without her husband.

THE END


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